Sorry, Girls, You're Just Not Funny

Sun Herald

Sunday June 15, 2008

Sam De Brito samdebrito@gmail.com

HOW many really funny women do you know? Think about it. I'll wait.

Me? It's fewer than six and the only chick who consistently cracks me up is my cousin Sarah, because she's just got no shame, no bottom line. She'll bust out a line on a totally inappropriate topic, at the worst possible time, in front of the very people who'll get most insulted by it and, I'm sorry, that's just some funny shit.

So come on - name me some funny (not just slightly amusing) women?

Kath and Kim's Jane Turner and Gina Riley are allegedly funny. Ab Fab's Jennifer Saunders and Joanna Lumley were good for a laugh in their prime. Roseanne Barr was a cack before she turned into Kathy Bates's character from Misery and Mercedes Corby and her giraffe gums are hysterical in almost every interview she gives, but somehow I don't think she intends it.

When I broached this topic with a female buddy she said it came down to commonalities. Blokes make blokes laugh because we're built in the same factory somewhere north of Adelaide and still find farting hilarious at 35.

Fair enough, but why have I experienced more women laughing at men's jokes than vice-versa? (I mean, I could sit through every minute of Ellen DeGeneres's career and still win a staring contest with the Sphinx.)

I accept many women laugh at the stupid things men say to humour them (or avoid aggression) but I can't imagine this is the case when gals watch guys like The Office's Ricky Gervais, Borat's Sacha Baron Cohen or shows such as Little Britain, The Chaser or Flight Of The Conchords.

In all the other arts there are female standouts and megastars: singers Pink and Barbra Streisand, actors Cate Blanchett, Frances McDormand and Judy Dench, writers Helen Garner, Jodi Picoult and Zadie Smith.

Who, then, are the female peers to the slay-them-in-the-aisles comics like Eddie Murphy, Dave Chappelle, Rodney Rude and Bill Hicks? Whoopi Goldberg? Magda Szubanski? Sweet baby Jesus.

I know I'm opening myself up here to accusations of misogyny but, really, women don't get called man-haters when they bring up obvious psychological differences between the sexes. OK, Sarah Silverman does.

The problem as I see it is that the grand art of storytelling is not encouraged in girls like it is boys.

Women tend to talk with their friends elliptically about emotional issues, while men tell linear tales/lies about their adventures, achievements and conquests.

Blokes learn very quickly that if you're going to make your mates shut the hell up and listen for a few minutes, your story has to have a point of difference: a funny ending, some sort of killer twist, reversal or a piece of wisdom.

How many times has an overexcited woman gushed about some "amazing experience" and, when she gets to the end of her story, you're sitting there blinking, thinking, "Holy crap, that's it?"

Women, by and large, are also more self-conscious than men and, I believe, the key to making people laugh is the ability to first laugh at yourself. I don't think most chicks can do that: they take themselves too seriously; they take too much to heart.

A self-deprecating woman is an oxymoron, but it's a given for a bloke.

There is one exception to this: men will laugh like lunatics smoking hydro at anything a woman says if they're trying to get her in to bed.

So I guess the joke's on us.

Sam de Brito is the author of The Lost Boys and is a blogger on smh.com.au.

Bit on the side

Tatt's a joke, sport

ONE trend I've been particularly enjoying lately is that of sportsmen tattooing their surname on their bodies.

The Sydney Roosters' Mitchell Pearce and Sonny Bill Williams from the Bulldogs have theirs inked on their arm and back respectively - and it makes me wonder if you have to go to this length "to remind ya where ya came from" after one concussion too many.

Thank God their name isn't Ernie Wanka, who played for Parramatta reserve grade in the '70s, though the tatt may have been more apt.

I'd follow her anywhere

I FELL in love last week. She's very demanding, always right and knows where she's going in life, but the female voice behind the GPS system in my last rent-a-car has my heart forever.

I don't know what I'm going to do without her now that she's moved on to the next Avis customer, because this gadget made life a yellow brick road while navigating Brisbane's unfamiliar streets.

My little mate Ruby the barista made the observation: "Kind of funny that we're supposed to be bad at directions, yet they gave it a female voice."

Who says women aren't funny?

Clown of the week

WHO was the genius who came up with the McAfrica burger for McDonald's new Olympics promotion?

Let's ignore that much of the continent's population live kilometres below the poverty line, including children who are malnourished or starving (Happy Meal, anyone?)

How does not one person in a huge corporation consider the cultural arrogance of naming a foodstuff after a land mass where the majority of its inhabitants could never afford a hamburger and will die without tasting one?

© 2008 Sun Herald

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